40+ Intense Questions to Get to Know Someone

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How well do you know your friends and family? While you might always have something to chat about with the people in your life, how often do you really take the time to get to know them? Whether you’re considering questions to ask older people in your life about family stories or just want to know more about your closest friends, look no further than this list. 

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We’ve compiled 40+ of the most intense questions that really help you get to know someone. From their childhood to political ideas, you’re sure to walk away from this with a clearer view of the people in your life. You might even learn a bit along the way!

Questions to Ask Someone About Their Childhood and Life

Our childhoods might go by quickly, but they also reveal a lot about who we are as adults. This is where you’ll discover some of the best stories and memories.

1. What’s your earliest memory?

It makes sense to start this conversation by talking about your loved one’s earliest memory. What do they first remember about their lives?

2. How many siblings do you have?

The number of siblings one has says a lot about a person. Only children vs. multiple children have very distinct upbringings. 

3. Where did you grow up?

Some people grew up in quaint towns surrounded by family, others might have lived in bustling cities. Where exactly did your loved one get their start?

4. Are you named after anyone?

Names carry a lot of history and meaning, especially within families. 

5. Did you have any pets growing up?

Most kids beg for a dog, cat, or even a fish. What pets did your loved one have, if any? What do they remember about this experience?

6. Did your family have any special traditions?

Each family has their own unique traditions. Whether it’s baking together or movie nights, what special memories does your loved one have?

7. What was your favorite game?

One of the best parts of childhood is getting to spend so much time playing. Was your loved one into video games, hide and seek, or another childhood favorite?

8. Who was your childhood best friend?

Throughout life, friends come and go. While your loved one might no longer be close to their childhood best friend, this could still trigger fun memories.

9. What was your favorite book growing up?

A love for reading often starts at a young age. Even if your loved one is no longer a bookworm, odds are they had some favorite titles early on. 

10. What’s the best gift you ever got as a child?

Receiving gifts was never more exciting than it was as a youngster. When you receive something new you’ve been anticipating, it’s like there’s a whole new world of possibilities. These favored gifts reveal a lot about the time period and your loved one’s childhood. 

Get to Know You Questions About Their Careers, Hobbies, and Dreams

Outside of a person’s childhood, you can also get to know them on a more basic level. What are they working towards in their career, and what do they like to do in their free time? This is what makes up someone’s personality.  

11. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

From the glamorous streets of the city to the gorgeous mountainside, where would your loved one prefer to be if money, career, and family concerns weren’t in the way?

12. What would be your dream vacation?

Similar to the question above, if your loved one could vacation anywhere, where would they pick?

13. If you could have any career, what would you choose?

Careers are complicated, but they reveal a lot about what we want from life. Would they be an astronaut, movie star, or something else?

14. What’s your favorite sport to play or watch?

We’re not all gifted in athletics, but some of us have a calling for certain sports, whether we’re a viewer or a player!

15. How would your friends describe you?

If you’re talking to someone who isn’t a close friend, ask how their friends see them. This is often different from how we see ourselves. 

16. What is your favorite thing to do on the weekends?

How we spend our time when we aren’t working shows what hobbies are most important to us. 

17. What motivates you to work hard?

Motivation comes in all shapes and sizes. What makes your loved one want to push forward in their career?

18. What’s your biggest professional accomplishment?

Having one’s hard work rewarded is something to be proud of. What professional moments stand out the most?

19. Where do you see yourself in five years?

The future isn’t always clear, but we can still make guesses about where we want to be. 

20. What’s your favorite part of the workday?

How does your loved one feel about their time at work? Are they ready to get off the clock or could they work late every day?

Get to Know You Questions About Their Views and Politics

Our opinions about the things that matter also shape who we are. They can be the start of a new connection or just a conversation. Either way, your perspective will widen. 

21. In your opinion, what is the most important political issue?

Not everyone values the same things politically, so this is an insightful question.

22. How have your political views changed over time?

Our opinions aren’t a stagnant thing. They change as we do. 

23. How old were you when you first voted?

Voting is a memorable experience, and you’ll never forget the first time you went to the polls. 

24. Have you ever taken part in a political protest?

Whether your loved one supported equal voting rights or saving the environment, these protests bring everyone together for something they believe in. 

25. How responsible do you think the government should be for making decisions about citizens?

The basis for political leanings lies in how they think the government should be involved in the dealings of businesses and citizens. 

26. How do you feel about gun ownership?

Most people have a passionate answer to how they feel about gun usage and whether or not they personally own a firearm. 

27. Do you think your country should intervene in foreign affairs?

Politics isn’t just about one’s own country, but also about the country’s relationship with the world. 

28. Are you religious?

Most people are very open to talking about their religious views. This is a great way to learn more about a new culture. 

29. Do you prefer nationalism or globalism?

Nationalism is the focus on one’s own nation, while globalism focuses on the global community. Which makes more sense to your loved one?

30. What moral principles matter most to you?

Finally, identify the moral principles that stand out the most to your loved one. 

Deep Questions to Get to Know Someone

Now let’s take it a little bit deeper to find out more about your loved one’s inner workings. This is when true connections are made, even if these conversations aren’t always easy to have. 

31. What’s the one thing you would change about yourself?

While it’s not always easy to talk about, we all have things we might want to change if given the chance.

32. What is a relationship deal-breaker for you?

In a romantic relationship or a friendship, where is the line drawn? What is unforgivable?

33. Have you ever lost someone close to you?

Dealing with grief and loss is one of the biggest challenges one can have in life. These are the experiences that shape who we are, so don’t be afraid to ask about them. 

34. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Has your loved one ever done something out-of-the-ordinary? More importantly, would they do it again?

35. What type of funeral do you want, if any?

While having a final wishes organizer is essential, we don’t always talk to our loved ones about what we want when we die—asking these questions while you can is more important than ever. 

36. What is your biggest regret?

We all have done things we aren’t proud of. Our regrets show us how we’ve changed over time. 

37. What is your biggest challenge you’ve overcome?

Our life challenges define us. What has your loved one been through, and how have they grown from it?

38. Who are you closest to?

What ties does your loved one hold dear?

39. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

While we all have things we might want to change, there are also parts of ourselves that we really like. 

40. What is the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?

Risks often come at a price, but they also lead to the biggest rewards. What risks have your loved ones taken? What came of them?

Learn More About Those Close to You

While it’s easy to fill your conversations with chatter about the news and the weather, it pays to take a closer look at those you love most. By asking these questions above, you uncover new stories, memories, and things that matter. They’re guaranteed to push you from your comfort zone and strengthen your bonds with those around you. 

Keep some of these questions in your thoughts as you navigate life’s many relationships. You’re sure to learn more as you go, and some of the answers might surprise you. 

Looking for more? Read our guide on funny get to know you questions.

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