If you make a list of the toughest things you'll have to go through, losing a daughter ranks right up at the top. Whether your daughter is very young or well into adulthood, the grief can seem insurmountable. The anniversary of your daughter’s death is a hard date to get through, but her birthday might be even harder— a day formerly full of happy celebrations has turned sorrowful.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- Share a “Happy Birthday, Daughter” Poem
- How to Say "Happy Birthday in Heaven, Daughter" With a Quote
- Write a Message That Says, "Happy Birthday in Heaven, Daughter”
- Do Something in Memory of Your Daughter’s Birthday
It’s possible to lessen the grief a bit. Commemorate your daughter’s special day — use the tips and activities we feature below.
Share your final wishes, just in case.
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Share a “Happy Birthday, Daughter” Poem
Poetry is a great way to cope with your feelings. Read these poems aloud to yourself, with family members, or share them online.
"Stella’s Birthday March 13, 1727" by Jonathan Swift
If your daughter was older, this is a great tongue-in-cheek poem for her.
“This day, whate’er the Fates decree, / Shall still be kept with joy by me: / This day then let us not be told, / That you are sick, and I grown old; / Nor think on our approaching ills, / And talk of spectacles and pills. / To-morrow will be time enough / To hear such mortifying stuff. / Yet, since from reason may be brought / A better and more pleasing thought …”
"A Birthday Song: To S.G." by Sidney Lanier
The lovely imagery in this poem describes years lived as rose petals.
“Forever wave, for ever float and shine / Before my yearning eyes, oh! dream of mine / Wherein I dreamed that time was like a vine / This vine bore many blossoms, which were years. /
Their petals, red with joy, or bleached by tears, / Waved to and fro i’ the winds of hopes and fears …”
"Every One of Your Birthdays" by Joanna Fuchs
After many birthdays, they may seem commonplace. Fuchs reminds us that each one is a precious gift.
“Every one of your birthdays / is a gift to the rest of us / who have had the pleasure / of having you in our lives / for another year. / Every one of your birthdays / brings joyful memories / of your bright smile / and your love of life. / Every one of your birthdays / reminds us of your sensitivity
and service to others, / and other delights / too numerous to name …”
"Another Year" by Catherine Pulsifer
This poem is full of birthday wishes — though you could use this as inspiration for yourself and your future, even though your daughter is gone.
“Another year has passed / A birthday for you is in store / May you find this coming year / Be one with lots of open doors. / Follow your dreams / Remember you can achieve / All that you dream / Whatever your mind can conceive / So this poem brings / wishes for you / in hopes that the coming year / is filled with things you love to do.”
"A Heartfelt Wish" by Kate Summers
This poem commemorates one of the most special days of the year. It also allows you to tell your daughter exactly what she meant to you.
“This heartfelt wish is just for you / Today is your special day / May all the dreams you do pursue / Be realized in every way. / A special person you are to me / You deserve the best of everything
So may this birthday and the coming year be / One that offers you the best that life may bring.”
"The Passing Years" by Edward Tuck
Here’s a humorous poem to read with your daughter in mind.
“Age is a quality of mind: / If you have left your dreams behind, / If hope is lost, / If you no longer look ahead, / If your ambition's fires are dead, / Then you are old. / But if from life you take the best / And if in life you keep the jest, / If love you hold, / No matter how the years go by, / No matter how the birthdays fly, / You are not old.”
"Here Is A Wish" by John McLeod
Sometimes it’s hard to come up with a spur-of-the-moment birthday wish. This poem has it covered.
“Here is a wish that says: / Warm, happy hours be yours / Shadows are of passing note / But healing laughter cures. / Be, therefore, ever joyful, Friend, / And walk on gladsome feet / Towards tomorrow's brand new dawn / And promise sweet!”
"The Happiest Age" by Wilhelmina Stitch
Some people wonder when their best years are behind them. This poem answers: never!
“What age is happiest? / Had you asked me, / I would have made this plea: / the Now is best. /
What joy to live with zest each newborn day; / and from the Moment wrest what Life will give away. / The Past is but a guest who came and went, / and left this one behest: to be content. Think how To-day is blest!”
"Aging" by Greta Zwaan
This poem celebrates everything that happened in the years that passed and keep your daughter’s memory front and center.
“I think of aging as a gift, a privilege to enjoy, / Not as space or empty time that’s easy to destroy. / Years of toil are history now, your strength is almost spent, / But all the days still left to you are surely heaven sent. / You now have time to reminisce, to think of years gone by; / Remembering all the things you've done and now you wonder "Why?" / You stop and think and want to know why youth so quickly flew …”
"Wishing You" by Catherine Pulsifer
Get lost in the memories of your daughter when you say this poem.
“Here is a birthday wish for you / One that is loving, happy and true / A wish for happiness and best things / The coming year to you will bring. / Today I am wishing you a very Happy Birthday
A day filled with every pleasure / And may your future be as happy / As all the memories you treasure.”
How to Say ‘Happy Birthday in Heaven, Daughter’ With a Quote
Whether you reflect on these quotes, read them aloud, or post them online, you’re doing your due diligence to wish your daughter a happy birthday in heaven. Here are a few can’t-miss quotes, too:
- “For it is from our mother that we learn how to nurture our daughters in positive, life-giving ways or that we receive a legacy of pain which we may unwittingly pass on to the next generation.” — Brenda Hunter
- “It is not the job of the child to protect her mother. It’s the mother’s job to protect the child. By allowing your mother to protect you, you gave her a gift.” — Kristin Cashore
- “A mother’s love is like an everlasting bed of roses, that continues to blossom. A mother’s love bears strength, comfort, healing, and warmth. Her beauty is compared to a sunny day that shines upon each rose petal and inspires hope.” — Ellen J. Barrier
- “In a child’s eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath, but she commands love either way. I am convinced that this is the greatest power in the universe.” — N.K. Jemisin
- “A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.” — Author unknown
- “Who can describe the transports of a beam truly parental on beholding a daughter shoot up like some fair and modest flower, and acquire, day after day, fresh beauty and growing sweetness, so as to fill every eye with pleasure and every heart with admiration?” — George Fordyce
- “Our daughters are the most precious of our treasures, the dearest possessions of our homes and the objects of our most watchful love.” — Margaret Sangster
- “I’ve come to understand that art is awesome and beautiful because it’s a reflection of life — but it’s just a reflection, and the real thing is my daughter.” — Chance the Rapper
- “A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous… full of beauty and forever beautiful… loving and caring and truly amazing.” — Deanna Beisser
- “Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters, there is something which there are no words to express.” — Joseph Addison
Write a Message That Says, “Happy Birthday in Heaven, Daughter”
You can use these "happy birthday in heaven" messages as a way to connect with family members online. Posting about your daughter’s birthday helps keep her memory alive. If you don’t like social media, try writing them down or saying them aloud.
- “Happy birthday in heaven, daughter. I miss you so much.”
- “I’m so lucky to have had you as my daughter. I’m glad for all the memories we shared together.”
- “So glad for the years and memories we spent together. I’m lucky to have had such a special daughter!”
- “I was so lucky to have a daughter who was also my best friend. I’m eternally grateful for the love we shared.”
- “Every day, I thank God for putting you in my life. So happy to count another year for you!”
- “I’m so happy we built great memories together. Happy birthday to the person I loved most — my daughter!”
Do Something in Memory of Your Daughter’s Birthday
Even if she’s gone, you may consider your daughter’s birthday a joyous occasion. Why not celebrate?
Bake a cake
A cake can still be the most important part of a birthday celebration. Consider her age and hobbies. Would she have loved a chocolate-raspberry cake with a glass of red wine? Maybe she would have preferred a dinosaur-themed cake with rainbow sprinkles on top.
Do her favorite activities
Your daughter had unique hobbies. Doing them is a great way to celebrate and keep her memory intact, whether she liked painting or running marathons.
Watch her favorite movies
Having a movie marathon is a great way to spend a birthday. Collect her favorite movies, gather family members around, and celebrate her unique tastes.
Throw a party
Your daughter isn’t here to enjoy it, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t celebrate her special day! Hosting a party is a classic way to celebrate a birthday. From an exuberant, noisy party to a quiet event, you can customize it how you wish.
Host a family reunion
There’s no better excuse to reunite with your family. Commemorating your daughter’s birthday with her whole family is a great way to do it.
Celebrating Your Daughter
Having the opportunity to celebrate your daughter’s life is a great honor. Take advantage of the day and fill it with memories, family, and healing thoughts.