Do You Really Know Your Sibling? 25 Questions to Ask Them


If you’re lucky enough to have a supportive sibling, you know they play a very important role in your life. The best siblings are genuine friends who often understand you in ways other friends don’t.

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At least that’s what many siblings assume. It’s not always the case. When you spend so much time with someone, you take for granted the fact that you might not know as much about them as you think. How well do you know your sibling, really?

If you think you could afford to get to know your sibling better, consider asking them these questions. Just like questions to ask your parents before they die, they’ll help you forge an even deeper connection.

Questions to Ask About Childhood and Growing Up

Few people can understand your childhood as well as your sibling. Asking them questions about the topic will result in fun conversations about happy memories. In some instances, it can also help you address lingering feelings, too.

1. Did you notice a difference in the way our parents raised us?

Unless you’re twins, this is almost certainly a good conversation starter when hanging out with a sibling.

Parenting is difficult. As parents raise their first child, they continue to learn. That means the way parents raise older children often differs from the way they treat their younger kids.

2. What was your favorite birthday growing up?

If you’re looking for the best way to say Happy Birthday, sister (or brother!), you might not know where to start. Do you send them funny birthday wishes? Do you throw them a surprise party?

Don’t stress. Simply asking your sibling about their favorite birthday memories from childhood will provide you with many ideas for a birthday celebration.

3. What childhood game will you share with your kids?

One of the best ways to keep childhood joy alive is to share fun childhood traditions with your own kids. Ask this question to get ideas about how to do so.

4. Who was your favorite musical artist growing up?

This question doesn’t merely let you joke with each other about childhood musical tastes. You may want to heartwarmingly touch on childhood memories by dedicating a song about sisters or brothers from your sib’s childhood fave on their birthday.

5. What silly fear did you have growing up?

Some siblings ask this question and find out they both thought their house was haunted. Some remember being scared of the same big neighborhood dog who was actually very friendly. Some find they had very different fears. Regardless, it’s a fun conversation starter.

Questions to Ask About Personal Views

Asking anyone about their personal views is one of the best ways to learn more about them. Thus, if you want to get to know your sibling more, you may want to ask these.

6. Do you believe [insert belief parents tried to instill in you]?

Asking a teenaged or adult sibling if they still have key beliefs your parents tried to cultivate in you can help you learn more about them, and it can spark conversation about your upbringing.

7. What do you think a parent’s role should be?

Although being a parent isn’t easy, being someone’s kid isn’t necessarily a stress-free experience.

Talking to your sibling about this topic can help you cope with those feelings, whether you still have them because you’re still a child, or whether you can simply remember experiencing them in the past. 

8. How did our parents influence your political views?

Asking this question helps you get to know your sibling better. It also helps you identify whether you have certain entrenched political beliefs merely because of a parent’s influence.

9. What’s a common value in our family that you strongly disagree with?

Sometimes asking “how well do you know your sibling” questions gives both of you a chance to vent.

Perhaps your extended family tends to share a common value that your sibling doesn’t understand and would love to rant about. They’ll have fun venting, and you’ll learn about their views.

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10. Do you believe we’ll ever see our lost loved ones again?

Many of us struggle with questions about the afterlife when family members die. Talking about this subject with a sibling helps both of you find some comfort.

Who is the Better… 

Siblings may share a lot in common, but they don’t always develop the same talents. That means this topic offers greater fodder for conversations.

11. Who is the better planner/organizer?

Don’t overlook the value of this particular “how well do you know your sibling” question! There may come a time in your lives when you need to make important decisions together, such as what to do to ensure the wellbeing of an aging parent.

Honestly asking yourselves which one of you is most skilled at handling these practical issues is a way to begin addressing what can be a sensitive subject.

12. Who is the better [insert skill you may have learned from parents or guardians]?

Sometimes a parent shares a particular skill to a greater degree with one sibling than with another.

Maybe one sibling simply had more interest in a given skill back then, but now, their attitude has changed. Discussing this topic with your sibling helps both of you learn to develop skills you didn’t initially choose to learn from a parent.

13. Who is the better comedian?

These questions often clarify the roles different siblings play in a family. For instance, maybe one of you was the joker who could always get everyone laughing. 

14. Who has a better memory?

When you begin asking a sibling questions about your childhood, you may naturally begin to realize one of you remembers much more from childhood than the other. You might want to discuss why this is.

15. Who is the better cook?

Hey, sometimes you and your sibling might need to plan a family reunion or similar party.

Determining who is the better cook now will help you decide who should prepare most of the food for the celebration.

What is Their Favorite… 

A person’s tastes reflect their identity. Even though “what is your favorite” questions are fairly basic, they can provide unique insights.

16. What is your favorite food?

This may seem like a very simple question at first. However, like many simple “how well do you know your sibling” questions, it can actually reveal a lot more information than you might first assume.

Maybe your sibling likes the food you ate in childhood because they associate it with happy memories. Or, they might have felt your parents deprived you of culinary experiences, and now they’re trying to make up for that by enjoying other cuisines.

17. What is your favorite hobby?

Like skills, kids often take up certain hobbies because their parents introduced them to those hobbies. Such hobbies are also like skills, in that siblings can share them with each other later in life. 

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18. Who was your favorite high school teacher?

If you and your sibling went to the same high school, asking this question may give you the chance to share funny anecdotes or reflect on old friendships and experiences from that period of your life.

19. What’s your favorite thing to do on your day off?

This is another “how well do you know your sibling” question that can actually reveal more about your values and character than you might first assume.

20. What’s your favorite vacation destination?

Maybe you or your sibling prefer a certain vacation destination because it evokes happy childhood memories. Ask this question to reminisce on those times.

Who is Most Likely to… 

Sometimes answering these types of questions honestly is challenging. However, as these examples prove, it can also be rewarding.

21. Who is most likely to turn out like Mom or Dad?

Asking these questions will naturally help you get to know your sibling on a deeper level. That said, it’s also worth noting that asking certain “how well do you know your sibling” questions can allow you to reflect on yourself.

Discuss this topic, and you might realize you’re turning out like a specific parent. What you do about this will depend on whether you’re happy with that realization.

22. Who is most likely to stay in touch with our parents throughout life?

Asking this question serves different purposes for different people. For some, it can serve as a reminder that it’s important to remain in contact with loving parents.

For others, it can offer an opportunity to address painful childhood memories, perhaps touching on reasons they believe they’d rather distance themselves from their parents in adulthood.

23. Who’s most likely to have more kids?

This simple question can reveal plenty about a sibling’s values and memories of childhood.

24. Who’s most likely to live close to home?

As with the question about staying in touch with parents, you might ask this question to learn more about a sibling’s feelings towards childhood experiences.

25. Who’s most likely to skydive?

Don’t simply dismiss this question! A willingness to skydive (or engage in similar activities) could reflect interesting details about a sibling’s overall approach to life.

How Well Do You Know Your Sibling: Simple Ways to Find Out

Again, it’s easy to assume you and your sibling know each other well simply because you’ve spent much of your life together.

However, by asking these questions, you may discover there’s plenty you still have to learn about a brother or sister.

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