How to Write a Letter to Your Wife During Hard Times


When you get married, you vow to be there for one another for better and for worse. Obviously, you hope that those worse times never come. But unfortunately, you may face hardships and tragedies. If you’re lucky enough to have a spouse by our side, you can get through those challenges. A support system like a partner in life is invaluable. 

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If you and your wife are in the midst of going through hard times, she may need some extra encouragement. You can show her some support by taking the time to write her a letter. A letter of support can serve as a tangible reminder that you will continue to be a pillar of strength for her. 

Here, we break down the steps to crafting an incredible letter of encouragement. We’ve also included two sample letters to inspire you to craft a letter to your own wife in difficult times.  

Step 1: State the Purpose of Your Letter

Whenever you begin any kind of correspondence, you should open by quickly stating the purpose of your missive. Maybe you want to thank your wife for supporting you after you lost your job. Maybe you want to comfort her after one of her parents passed away.

Maybe you want to commiserate with her over your shared heartache after a long period of infertility. Whatever message you want to convey should be succinctly shared at the beginning of your letter. 

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Step 2: Don’t Shy Away from the Issue

If you’re writing to offer support during a difficult time, you don’t have to tiptoe around the issue. After all, you both know what it is that you’re going through.

In a letter like this, it’s important to be heartfelt. It’s hard to do that if you’re sugarcoating the situation. If your wife is facing a personal struggle, acknowledge the seriousness of what she’s going through. But then assure her that you will help her through it in whatever way you can.  

Step 3: Offer Specifics 

The specific details of your letter will depend on the type of letter you’re writing. If you’re writing to support your wife during a personal struggle, you can include details like the following:

  • Point out all of her attributes that will carry her through this hard time.
  • List specific things she’s done throughout this time that you’re proud of.
  • Number the ways you will support her as she continues to navigate this situation.

Maybe you’re writing to thank your wife for the support she gave you. If so, you can include the following:

  • The specific things she did that you are grateful for
  • The ways in which you are grateful
  • Things you have to look forward to now that you’ve come out the other side

Above all else, the body of the letter should be very specific to you and your relationship. 

Step 4: Praise Her

No matter the reason for writing your letter, you can praise your wife for any number of things. If you’re showing your gratitude for her support, praise the ways she helped you.

If she’s having a difficult time, praise the way she’s handling things. Praise is one of the most important things in life. It can lift you up and get you through even the darkest times. 

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Step 5: Speak from the Heart

Whether you’re writing a letter of gratitude or a letter of encouragement, it’s important to be heartfelt. You’re connecting with your wife about a deeply personal and emotional situation.

This isn’t a standard, simple thank you note. Being emotionally open and transparent is integral to writing an in-depth letter like this.  

Step 6: Be Positive

Even though you shouldn’t shy away from the issue, you should also make an effort to be as positive as possible. Even if you are still in the midst of hardship or tragedy, you can be optimistic.

For example, if you’re dealing with infertility issues as a couple, go through your options. If this is the end of the road for fertility treatments, suggest adoption as a possibility. Assure your wife that your marriage will survive even these difficult times. Let her know that even if you don’t have children, you’ll still love her. There are ways to be positive about even a tragic situation. 

Step 7: End on an Uplifting Note

No matter the purpose of your letter, you can always find a positive note to end on. If you’re writing to thank your wife for supporting you during a personal struggle, conclude by telling her how you want to show your appreciation.

If you’re writing to acknowledge her own hard times, reinforce the reasons you know she’ll persevere. The best gift you can give someone sometimes is a little bit of hope.  

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Sample Letter to a Wife Who Supported You During Hard Times

Dear Rebecca,

I’m writing this letter to thank you for being so supportive over the past few months. I know we’ve been through some challenges, and I can’t fully express how grateful I am for helping me get through it. 

Being told that I wouldn’t be making junior partner at the law firm this year was incredibly crushing. I’ve put in so many hours as an associate, as you obviously know. After years of long hours and late nights away from you and the kids, it was so disappointing. I won’t lie. It was a pretty big blow to the ego. I really struggled with a lack of self-esteem and self-worth.

The worst part of this was that I felt I had let you down. You’ve been, in many ways like a single mother for the past few years. There are days when I’m at work so early and stay so late that I never get to see the kids. You’ve been taking care of them while working your own job. Part of the reason I wanted this promotion was to make enough money that you could just stay home if you wanted to. But most of the reason I wanted it was so I could work better hours and be there with you and the kiddos more. I felt like I let you down on both fronts.

But because you’re amazing, you saw why I was so devastated. And you reassured me from the first moment that I never let you down. You reminded me that you believed in me and that you knew we would get through this. I know it had to be a bummer because you were thinking you’d get your husband back in the house more. But you never let it show. 

I just want you to know that you have been my rock through all of this. I’m so grateful to have your love and support in my life. I also wanted to tell you that you’re right — we did make it through this because one of the partners announced today that he’s retiring. Before he made the formal announcement, the management team called me into a conference and offered me a partnership position. I let them know that I need to discuss it with my wife. So if you’re still on board, then we finally made it happen.



Sample Letter to a Wife Going Through During Hard Times

Dear Sarah,

I never wanted to have to write a letter to my wife during hard times but now we’re facing them. I wanted to write this letter to let you know how impressed I am with you. Even though I know this is one of the most terrible times in your life, you’re persevering with such grace.

I know we tried to prepare as much as possible for the death of your mom. We’ve known for a while that she wasn’t responding to treatments. But there’s really no way you can get ready for the death of a parent.

Your mom was such an amazing person. I know how close you were. A single mom and an only child form a bond that few people can understand. I had the same kind of relationship with my mother. I know it feels like a big piece of you is missing right now.

Even though you’re grieving, you’re still such a caring mother to our own children. You’re taking comfort from how much they need you, even as you miss your own mom. I wouldn’t blame you at all if you need solitude. But you’re drawing strength from your family, which is so impressive.

I know things feel very dark and raw right now. But I promise there are moments of light and beauty left in the world. I’ll do my best to find them and point them out to you. While I know you’re feeling very alone right now, I hope you know that I’m here to help and support you as much as I can right now. I said for better and for worse and I meant it. 



Pen a Letter of Encouragement to Your Wife During Challenging Times

We all go through challenging times in our lives but those difficulties are infinitely easier to face when you have a supportive partner by your side. If your wife has stood by you during a hard time, say thank you for being there in a heartfelt letter.

Or if she’s going through a tragedy of her own, craft a letter of encouragement. The most difficult things in life are easier to weather when you and your partner stick together.   

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