21 Better Alternatives to ‘My Thoughts Are With You’


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Sending a sympathy card to family members or friends when someone dies or when they are ill is a great way to show love and affection. Sympathy cards are also appropriate when you want to console a person during their time of sorrow. Sympathy and condolence cards do have their place but what is written inside of them is what matters most. 

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Here’s a list of 21 ways to offer your sympathies and show your affection beyond “my thoughts are with you.” Each message is personal and conveys how much you understand.

Tip: One great way to say "my thoughts are with you" after a death is by writing a tribute and sympathy message on an online memorial page. Many of the messages below would work well as an online memorial page message. You can also include a short tribute to the departed person, mentioning something special about them that you'll always remember.

How to Say ‘My Thoughts Are With You’ After a Death

Sympathy quote over an image of a flower

When someone dies, the first question that comes to the minds of friends and family is how to communicate sorrow and loss. It’s difficult to communicate these thoughts in person, but can be even harder when sending a card or flowers. 

The most important thing you can do is communicate your love and support. Sending even a simple message is just one way to be there for someone.  

1. My thoughts and prayers are with you during these difficult times.

As much as you may want to help those who are experiencing the pain of loss, often the only thing that you can do is to offer thoughts and prayers for the family. Send this message to let the family of the deceased know that your prayers are with them during this difficult and sorrowful time.

2. My deepest sympathies. May [name] rest in peace.

When a family member or friend dies, it can be a very difficult time for relatives and loved ones. The best thing you can do is to sympathize with those who are grieving and offer them condolences. It is your ability to sympathize that enables us to share grief.

3. I'm so sorry to hear about (the deceased person’s) death. If there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Words alone may not feel like they can help grieving loved ones, but sentiments of condolence are often powerful and encouraging. Sympathy plus an offer of help not only conveys that you feel someone’s pain and grief, but that you’re ready to help in any way you can.

This message offers support as you suffer through the death of a loved one. Send this message and let your friend or loved one know that you are there to offer any help that you can.

4. I was heartbroken when I found about the death of [name]. May you be comforted and encouraged by the love around you.

The death of a loved one can be a very sorrowful event. When you hear that someone close to you has died, you may be filled with shock and grief. 

The real purpose of life is to love those around you. It is the love of others that gets people through tough times. Send this card to a grieving family so they know they’re not alone in this struggle.

5. Always know that you are not alone, and I am here with you in your sorrows.

When your friend or loved one is grieving, that person may feel completely alone in the world. Send this message to let a grieving person know that you’re there in support every step of the way.

Post-loss tip: If you are the executor for a deceased loved one, handling their unfinished business like donating their clothes can be overwhelming without a way to organize your process. We have a post-loss checklist that will help you ensure that your loved one's family, estate, and other affairs are taken care of.

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How to Say ‘My Thoughts Are With You’ When Someone’s Sick

Sympathy quote over an image of flowers

Illness is something everyone experiences. When sickness drags on and becomes something that doesn’t appear to have an end date, it can become very discouraging. Send someone you know a message of encouragement — it could be just the boost a friend or loved one needs to make it through another day.

6. I’m praying for you to get well soon. Let me know if you need anything.

Prayers can play their part in healing the body and mind. Show a bit of love and let your friend know that you’re praying, encouraging, cheering, and even helping him recover faster. This message is perfect for that purpose.

7. I’m sorry this sickness is part of your life. I am here with you every step of the way. 

You’ll likely be able to sympathize with a person in the midst of an illness. That’s why it’s important to show loved ones that you’re there for them and will support them no matter how sick they are.

How to Say ‘My Thoughts Are With You and Your Family’ 

Sympathy quote over an image of flowers

When whole families suffer through the loss of a loved one or another difficult circumstance, you’ll want to include the whole family in your message. Use these messages when the whole family needs encouragement.

8. Though this may be a difficult time for you, I will always be here to support you and do anything I can to help you and your family.

The one thing a person needs the most is the support of friends and family. Offer whatever help and support you need to when your loved one goes through tough times. This message conveys that feeling.

9. All of my sympathies are with you and your family during this time. May you find peace and comfort.

You may want to sympathize with family members to share in their pain. It may not feel like you’re saying much, but it makes a world of difference for the person who is suffering. This message will let someone know that you feel the pain he or she is experiencing.

10. Your family is my family, and I will do all that I can to help you during these trying times.

If you’re close to your friend’s family, this message is perfect. You know you’d do anything to care for your family members as if they’re blood relatives. That means offering whatever you can to help. This message conveys that thought and lets the other person know that they are family to you.

11. Love and friendship are what gets us through tough times. I give them both to you and your family. 

Love and friendship are the two things that can help you get through nearly anything. Reminding your friend of the love and support you offer might let your friend know that you are there to help.

12. I’m praying for you and your family. May you all get well soon.

This is a simple message for a whole family that’s struggling with illness. This is especially beneficial for religious families who are encouraged by your prayers on their behalf.

How to Say ‘My Thoughts Are With You’ After Someone’s Going Through a Different Difficult Time

Sympathy quote over an image of flowers

There are many other circumstances where you might need words of sympathy besides death and illness. These can include the illness or loss of a pet, a job, house, and financial difficulties, to name a few. Use these messages to provide a ray of hope for a person who is overwhelmed and struggling.

13. If you need to talk, a shoulder to cry on, or want to grab a coffee, I'm around. I'll be thinking of you.

Send this message to someone who is going through a hard time. You may be close enough that he may want to talk with you about what he’s experiencing. This is best for a close friend or colleague.

14. I just want to let you know my family and I are praying for you. May these difficult times pass soon.

Praying is one of the greatest gifts you can give to a religious person. This message conveys just that. 

15. I know this is a very difficult time for you, but I also know you will get through it. I am here for you every step of the way.

Offering your support is very important when someone is going through difficult times. Send this message and let your friend know that you are there no matter what.

16. Words are not sufficient to convey the sympathy I feel for you. If you need anything, give me a call and let me know.

Letting someone know you’re available to help is important when someone is going through a hard time. 

17.  I know you will come through this stronger on the other end. You are a strong man/woman and I couldn’t be more proud of you.

This message helps your loved one get through hard times and tells him or her that you’re supportive.

18. I pray that you find comfort, hope, and peace during these trying times. My thoughts are always with you.

Peace can be hard to find in difficult times. In general, telling people you want them to find comfort and peace helps them know that someone is pulling for them. 

19. You have all my love and friendship and anything else you need during this difficult time. 

Send this message to a friend so he or she knows you’re there, no matter what.

20. I know how difficult these times are for you and I offer you my deepest sympathies. May these dark times pass quickly.

No matter what someone is facing, this message signifies that you can sympathize and offer help.

21. It broke my heart when I heard about the difficult time that you are going through. I just want to let you know that you can always count on me.

Good friends are hard to come by. Send this message and let your loved one know how sad you are and that you are there for any needs.

Where to Share Your 'My Thoughts Are With You' Message

Before you decide exactly what you want to say, it's a good idea to decide how you want to convey that message. Here are some options for how you share a "my thoughts are with you" message with someone who's going through a hard time. 

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Sympathy card

A sympathy card is a time-honored way to offer condolences and support. This is a great option if you want to share your message in a way that the person can read and reflect upon in their own time.

Phone call

Calling someone to let them know your thoughts are with them is a good option if you often speak to them on the phone. Keep in mind that after a loss, it's common for a person to be overwhelmed with sympathy phone calls from well-meaning friends and family members. If you don't often speak to them on the phone, it may be better to choose another method. 


Sending a short text is a valid way to let someone know you're thinking of them. This is a great way to make sure that they receive the message quickly but don't have to respond right away.

Social media

If your friend or family member posts about the tough time they're going through, whether it's a loss, an illness, or something else, you can use the comment section to let them know you're thinking of them. If they haven't shared this information on social media, it's a good idea to speak with them privately in some way, instead. You can do this via DMs if you want to stick to social media.

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Online memorial page

An online memorial page creates the perfect opportunity to let someone know you're thinking of them if they've experienced a loss. You can write a thoughtful message offering your support and sharing a meaningful memory about the departed person if you knew them personally.

If they haven't yet created a memorial page, Cake's memorial pages are a great option. They're quick and easy to create, and they let visitors share tributes and photos of the departed. You can even add a fundraiser to raise money for funeral expenses, and easily share information and updates about the funeral.

In person

Often, the most meaningful way to show someone that they're in your thoughts is in person. If it's a close family member or friend you're trying to support, you can ask them if they have time to get together or ask if you can stop by with a care package.

Send a Message with Love

Sympathy messages are a great way to let people know that you are sorry for their loss. No matter whether they are facing an illness, loss of a loved one, or death of a pet, these messages convey that your thoughts and prayers are with them always. 

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