15 ‘Open When You’re Mad at Me’ Letter Ideas + Examples


Even people with the closest relationships get irritated with each other sometimes. Plenty of hot-button topics can cause an uptick in blood pressure. Sometimes you find yourself in a crazy fight over something silly, like who was the best James Bond or who left the milk out on the counter. 

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Prepare for your next fight with your loved one or best friend by creating an “open when” letter. You can prepare letters (or packages) for your closest friends to open in certain situations. Let us help you create something for your friend or partner to open in the event you have done or said something you already regret.

Tips for Writing an ‘Open When You’re Mad at Me’ Letter

You can include small gifts, cartoons, candy, and other items with your letter but most people include some sort of note as well. 

Read our top tips for writing an “open when you’re mad at me” note. 

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1. Apologize

If you’ve been in the relationship for a while, you may have a good idea of the topics that cause you to argue the most. If you can apologize with authenticity, do so in the letter.

If you wish, word the apology carefully so you don’t admit that you were wrong. After all, you may not want to give up on your convictions. At the same time, you want to mend the relationship.

Some examples: “I’m sorry that our political discussions escalated out of control again.” or “I’m sorry that we need to agree to disagree on that topic, but our relationship is strong enough to withstand this difference of opinion.”

2. Keep it lighthearted and fun

Keep “open when” letters fun, sweet, friendly, reassuring, or loving. It’s not the time to rehash your differences. Let your guard down a bit and dare to be goofy. 

3. Reassure your loved one that you have a healthy relationship

Your friend may feel angry or regret specific behavior during your argument. Reassure your loved one that your relationship can withstand a difference of opinions. Use the note to remind your friend or partner about your common ground and shared memories. 

Topic Ideas for an ‘Open When You’re Mad at Me’ Letter

Are you sitting at your kitchen table with several blank pieces of paper, trying to think of what to write in your “open when you’re mad at me” letter? Let us help you get started by providing you with a few ideas. 

1. Create a flowchart

You probably have a few guesses as to your friend or partner’s anger. Consider making a flowchart to get to the bottom of things. 

Your first question could read, “Was our argument over the cleanliness of our apartment?” Draw two lines under this question — one labeled “yes” and the other labeled “no.” Create custom answers for each situation. 

2. Create a themed list

Your list could include items that you have never argued about during the course of your relationship. You could include both serious and funny items on your list: “We both agree that Peanut Butter M&Ms rock as the ultimate movie snack.” or “We both agree that I’m lucky to have you in my life.”

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3. Make a puzzle

Make a “Wheel of Fortune” puzzle with your apology. Fill in a few of the letters and ask your friend or partner to complete the puzzle to learn your message. Include a “key” on another sheet of paper or make the answer obvious.

4. Create a ransom-note style letter

Grab a magazine and some scissors and create a hilarious but heartfelt ransom note-style letter using words or letters you cut out. 

Small Gifts for an ‘Open When You’re Mad at Me’ Letter

Some people include small gifts in their “open when” letters. For example, if you write an “open when you feel sick” note, you might include some vitamin C gummies, cough drops, or a package of tissues. 

Check out some gift ideas to include in your “open when you are mad at me” note.

1. Whoopie Cushion

Even if your friend isn’t an eight-year-old boy, all notions of anger fade away when they use the whoopie cushion. 

Even if whoopie cushions aren’t your partner’s style, brainstorm which goofy, random items you could include to put a smile on your loved one’s face. 

2. Movie passes

Buy a gift card to a local movie theater to include in your package. Hopefully, your friend or partner will ask you to go along. Still irritated at each other when the film is over? You will have had at least a few hours to forget about the fight.

3. Photos

Include prints of your favorite photos together in the envelope with your letter. It’ll remind your friend or partner that you don’t fight all the time.

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4. Candy

Doesn’t sugar always make everything better?

5. Printed memes, jokes, or cartoons

Search online for some funny memes to share with your partner. Laughter is the best medicine!

6. A kiss

Consider a romantic gesture to get your partner on your side again. Spray perfume or cologne on the letter or place a kiss on the bottom next to your signature.

7. Bible verse or quote

Don’t have the right words to fix the situation? Turn to the Bible or your favorite quote book to find words of wisdom to share. 

8. Relaxation gift

Include a face mask, luxurious bath products, or a coupon for a massage in with your letter. You may even include a gift card to your local spa.

Example ‘Open When You’re Mad at Me’ Letters

Do you need some more help to get you started? Read some snippets from sample letters. Use these to get you started, but make sure your message to your loved one comes from the heart. 

Partner or spouse

“Yikes! I did it again, didn’t I? I did something stupid that caused you to become upset with me. Please know that I’m sorry, I love you, and I cherish our life together. 

Even though you feel mad at me right now, I hope you find it in yourself to forgive me. I probably don’t deserve it, but check out some reminders of why we are perfect for each other...“

“Enclosed, you’ll find a photo of my face. How can you stay mad at this face?

Even though we can’t agree on __________, I thought it would be good to remind you of all the things that brought us together: 

  • Our love of long bike rides. Do you remember our ride through Rocky Mountain National Park? I didn’t think I would be able to make it, but you kept encouraging me to keep going. 
  • Our love of the White Sox. We would never find someone else crazy enough to love this downtrodden team as much as we do.
  • Our commitment to each other and our kids. Even though we argue at times, we both know that we created a loving home for each other and the kids.”

Example for a close friend

“Let me guess... I picked an argument with you once again! Please accept my apology. I don’t know what I’m thinking half of the time.

I am so lucky to have such a wonderful friend like you—patient, kind, and (did I say patient?). No one else would put up with my fiery temper when I get riled up. 

I’ll try to be better. On the chance that I will do something stupid again, maybe you should put this letter in a new envelope so you have something to open the next time I irritate you.”

“I’m sorry that I made you mad! Please look at this list of things that I know will put a smile on your face. Hopefully, it will help smooth things over so we can become friends again:

  • Getting ready for senior prom while singing ‘Backstreet Boys’ songs.
  • Sharing a five-pound bag of gummy bears.
  • Videos of cats getting scared by vegetables.
  • Watching the Chiefs win the Super Bowl.”

Gather Your Supplies and Get Started!

We hope we’ve given you enough ideas to get started on your own series of “open-when” letters. Besides writing one for when your friend or partner, you may also create one for your friend to open when missing you from afar

It’s easy to take your relationships for granted, especially those decades old. Think about what you can do to strengthen your bond. Maybe your plan includes creating a series of “open-when” letters, but you may also think about making memories with those important to you. Schedule calls with your best friend once a week. Have a standing date night with your partner. 

Good luck with mending your relationship! We hope the “open when” letter helps. 

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