One of the best bits of relationship advice: “Never stop showing someone how much they mean to you.”
One way to show how much you care is to create a series of “open when” letters for your partner, spouse, family members, or friends.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- Tips for Writing an "Open When You Need to Know How Much I Love You" Letter
- Topic Ideas for an "Open When You Need to Know How Much I Love You" Letter
- Gifts or Crafts Ideas for an "Open When You Need to Know How Much I Love You" Letter
- Sample "Open When You Need to Know How Much I Love You" Letters
Here’s how it works:
First, you develop a series of topics for when someone may be feeling their most insecure. Perhaps your loved one may feel this way after a fight, when far from home, during a reason to celebrate, or when sick.
Next, you write a letter to your loved one with reassuring statements of love and acceptance. After you write for each topic, place the notes and small gifts into separate envelopes labeled “Open when..." Finally, give your loved ones all the letters with explicit instructions to only open the notes when the appropriate situation arises.
We’ll provide help for creating “open when you need to know how much I love you” letters.
Tips for Writing an "Open When You Need to Know How Much I Love You" Letter
A person who opens a note labeled “open when you need to know how much I love you” may feel lonely or may need to be reassured that someone cares. Here are some steps to help you get started writing the note.
1. Offer reassuring sentiments
It’s not a sign of weakness to need reassurance at times. It’s just part of being human. Bolster your loved one’s spirit by writing kind, loving messages in your letter. The recipient may keep heartfelt notes like these forever.
2. List your loved one’s positive attributes
Your loved one may appreciate the note even more if you personalize the message. Make your compliments as specific as possible. Instead of saying that you appreciate your loved one’s kindness, give your loved one kudos for caring for a disabled neighbor or volunteering to serve funeral dinners through the local church.
3. Share memories
While it would be kind to make your loved ones feel good about themselves, you might also want to write about how much you value the relationship. Write about the good memories you shared with your loved one and how much you appreciate the time you spend together.
4. Keep the message positive
No relationship is perfect. Instead of reminding your loved one about problems in the past, keep the message as positive as possible. “Open when” letters aren’t appropriate forums for rehashing past differences of opinion.
5. Write from the heart
Some people avoid writing their thoughts on paper because they don’t feel confident when they write. If you feel embarrassed by your grammar or spelling, write the note on a computer and use grammar and spell-check. Rewrite the message in your own handwriting after you have an error-free copy.
Topic Ideas for an "Open When You Need to Know How Much I Love You" Letter
Unless you wear your heart on your sleeve, you may struggle to write a love letter to your partner, friend, or family member. Take a look at some letter format ideas to get you started.
Get weekly reminders to live life fully.
We'll send inspirational quotes directly to your inbox.
6. Make a list of the things you miss about your loved one when you are apart
Do you need to reassure someone who lives far away? Why not create a funny but heartfelt list of what you miss about your loved one? Take a look at some examples:
“I miss your loud sneezes that would cause the whole house to shake. I miss your delicious pumpkin bread and how it would make the whole house smell like Thanksgiving.”
7. Share memories
Think back on all the happy moments you shared with your loved one. You may not have thought much about them at the time, but these shared moments can perk up someone who feels down.
Write “I remember when we first met…” or “Remember when…” stories.
8. Create a word search
Do you feel weird writing a letter that shares your innermost thoughts and feelings? Why not create a word search of important words or phrases that describe your relationship with your loved one? Free websites that will help you complete this project.
Title your puzzle “Reasons I Love You” and include words or phrases your partner will understand and appreciate.
Gifts or Crafts Ideas for an "Open When You Need to Know How Much I Love You" Letter
Many people who create a series of “open when” letters also include small gifts or tokens in the envelope or package. For example, if you were writing an “open when you feel ill” letter, you could include vitamins, tissues, and a thermometer.
Here are some small gifts that you can make or purchase for your “open when you need to know how much I love you” letter.
9. Put together a photo collage
Share photos depicting happy times to show you care. Consider printing out a few pictures to include with your letter or create a project on your favorite photo gift website.
10. Add in a pocket token
You may feel that your family member or friend needs more reassurance than one letter can provide. If so, consider purchasing or making a small token that your loved one can carry in a pocket to serve as a reminder of your constant love.
11. Brighten your loved one’s world with art
Break out your colored pencils and create a sketch of a favorite place or buy a postcard that reminds your loved one of a favorite trip.
12. Add glitter or confetti
Another way to remind your loved one of your undying affection is to place glitter or confetti in the envelope. For months, glitter might show up in all the nooks and crannies of your loved one’s home and encourage a smile.
13. Blow up some balloons
Write sweet messages on uninflated balloons and include them in the envelope with your letter.
14. Offer a relaxation gift
Does your loved one feel most vulnerable when stressed and overwhelmed? Offer reassurance with a gift that promotes relaxation, such as bath salts, sleep masks, or a small bottle of wine.
15. Make a valentine.
Whether it is February or September, create an old-school valentine for your love. Use construction paper, popsicle sticks, googly eyes, and glitter glue to show how much you care.
16. Slip in candy.
Because…sugar makes everything better.
17. Put together a playlist.
Instruct your loved one to go to a particular place online to listen to a playlist of songs that you chose. Music is the soundtrack of our lives, and your loved one will remember precious memories with the playlist you make.
Sample "Open When You Need to Know How Much I Love You" Letters
We know you may need help getting started with your letter, but your message should come from the heart. Read a few sample snippets to help you find the right tone and flow.
Example for a partner or spouse
“I’m sorry you are feeling down or need to be reassured of my love. My goal in life is never to stop showing you how much I care, but life gets busy with work, the house, and the kids.
"You are my sun and my moon. You are my beginning and my end. I have never regretted one moment that we have spent together, and I never will.”
Example for a best or close friend
“Sometimes I forget to thank the people in my life who make me happy. Please know that I appreciate you and our friendship so much. Do you need proof? Here are the top 10 reasons why we will be best friends forever:
- You know too much about what happened during our college days. If I stopped being friends with you, you could blackmail me for a lot of money.
- No one else understands my infatuation with One Direction.
- Our shared love for McRibs.”
Example for a close family member
“Mom, you have been an essential part of my life since day one, but I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate you. Thank you for giving me the best childhood ever. You and Dad were always there for me. I never had to worry that someone wouldn’t show up to my baseball games or band concerts. My friends wanted to be around you, and I always felt loved, cared for, and safe.”
If you would like to see more examples for a mother, read our guide on writing Open When letters for Mom.
Other Ways to Show Someone You Care
Creating a series of “open when” letters is one way to show someone you care, but you can implement many other types of methods. If you struggle to put your thoughts on paper, why not tell your loved ones in person how much they mean to you? Perhaps writing an entire letter sounds intimidating, so why not buy flowers and write a heartfelt message on the card?
You can also do random acts of kindness. Complete household tasks out of the blue or show up at your family member’s house, ready to complete some yard work.
Finally, you should create your own end-of-life plans, one of the kindest things you can do for your spouse and your close family members. We know this doesn’t sound very romantic, but making these decisions and recording your choices will make life so much easier for your loved ones after you pass.
Let Cake assist you with this process.