One of the best ways to support someone who had a stillbirth or who’s coping with a miscarriage is by just acknowledging their baby and their loss.
You might not be able to relate to your loved one’s experience or offer practical advice. You might even feel like you’re at a loss for words, and you don’t know what to say. And that’s perfectly fine. Often the greatest gift is just knowing you’re there for them.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- Stillborn Memorial Gifts for Dad
- Stillborn Memorial Gifts for Mom
- Stillborn Memorial Gifts for Grandparents
If you want to give your loved one a gift to show your support, you have many different options. Whether you’re supporting a father, a mother, or a grandparent, we’ll provide some ideas for stillborn memorial and condolence gifts below.
Stillborn Memorial Gifts for Dad
Fathers often feel like they have to put on a brave face for the family after a stillbirth or miscarriage. But the grief is just as real for the dad as it is for the mother. Although he didn’t experience the physical toll of a stillbirth or miscarriage, he’s still lost a beloved child.
To support a dad who just lost a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth, you could give him one of the memorial or condolence gifts below.
1. Name a star
Did you know you can name a star after someone you love? Well, kind of. There are nearly countless stars in the sky, and most of them have names made up of just numbers and letters. So, several companies now offer everyday folks the opportunity to pay a fee and “name a star.”
The name doesn’t go into any official registry, so it won’t be recognized by astronomers or NASA. But you’ll receive a certificate stating which star is yours, and where you can find it. You can name a star after the stillborn child and give the certificate to the grieving father.
2. Donate in the baby’s name
Another meaningful gesture that can help a father through this difficult time is a charitable donation. You can choose any organization that you think your loved one would appreciate. You could donate the funds to plant a number of trees or give livestock to a needy family. You could even send funds to a child in a developing nation to support their schooling and nutritional needs.
When you submit the donation, make sure to fill in the “donator” field with the baby’s name.
3. Plant a tree
Instead of donating the funds to plant trees, you could help the father in your life plant one himself. If the family has a backyard where there’s space for a tree, purchase a sapling from a local nursery. You can choose any type of tree, but it’s best to choose one that’s hardy and will last a long time without too much maintenance.
Give the sapling to your giftee with a short note attached stating that it’s in loving memory of his baby boy or girl. Then, you can offer to do the majority of the work in digging the hole for the tree and readying the soil to plant it. Gather the family around as you place the sapling, fill in the soil around it, and water the tree.
You can even create a DIY memorial placard with the baby’s name, which the family can place next to the tree as it grows.
We like this customizable Memorial Garden Plaque on Etsy.
4. Memorial birdfeeder
For a father who loves to feed and watch the birds, a memorial birdfeeder can help him memorialize his stillborn child. You can purchase a pre-made birdfeeder and customize it with the baby’s name, or you can create a DIY bird feeder with your own children.
When you give the bird feeder to your loved one, make sure to provide enough birdseed for at least a month. Each time a bird comes by for a bite, the dad will remember his beloved baby.
We love this highly personalizable Cedar Birdfeeder.
5. Meal delivery
Experiencing both birth and death at the same time is exhausting. The little things, like preparing food, can seem impossible.
As a memorial gift that keeps a grieving father and his family well-fed, you can purchase meal delivery. There are services available that offer fully-prepared meals, as well as those that deliver the ingredients for a home-cooked meal.
Alternatively, you can prepare a long-lasting meal (like a large casserole or lasagna) that the family can just divvy up, heat up, and dig into whenever they need some sustenance.
Consider giving your loved one a gift card for meal delivery, like this one for Grubhub.
Stillborn Memorial Gifts for Mom
For biological mothers, the stress of a miscarriage or stillbirth is twofold: she experiences the physical effects of carrying and delivering a child, as well as the emotional burden of grief and loss.
And non-biological mothers, like partners and adoptive moms, also experience the heartbreak of losing a child after a stillbirth or miscarriage occurs.
If you know a mother who’s recovering from a stillbirth or miscarriage, consider the memorial and condolence gifts below.
6. Memorial necklace
Jewelry is a beautiful and heartfelt way to show your support for someone who’s just experienced a deep loss. And fortunately, there are many online retailers and independent sellers who offer custom-engraved pieces that are perfect for memorial jewelry.
Have a necklace charm engraved with the baby’s name. You can add other information, like the baby’s birth date, birthstone, or a meaningful quote.
We like this beautiful, personalized Memorial Necklace on Etsy.
7. Self-care basket
Experiencing a stillbirth or miscarriage can leave you feeling disappointed in your body and its abilities. A mother might feel like she let down her baby or her family.
At a time like this, it’s important for a mom to reconnect with her body in a positive way. Some much-deserved self-care can help her say, “Thank you,” to her body for its gift and sacrifice, and acknowledge that this event wasn’t her fault.
A self-care basket could include bath bombs, lotions, and a cozy blanket to snuggle up in, as well as movies, books, or puzzles.
Try this relaxing Bath and Body Basket, which has a comforting vanilla fragrance.
8. Massage gift certificate
Along the same lines as the self-care basket, you can give your loved one some professional self-care. A massage might be just the thing she needs to spark new energy or just get out of the house for a while.
It’s usually best to buy a couple’s massage certificate so that your friend or loved one doesn’t have to go alone. Most people are more likely to use their gift certificate if someone else is coming along with them. You can offer to go along with your friend, or let her bring her husband or a family member along if she prefers.
9. Memorial wind chime
A memorial wind chime is a perfect way to commemorate a child who passed away. You can customize windchimes through multiple only retailers and private sellers, adding the baby’s name and birthdate or anything else you’d like.
Each time the wind blows through the windchime, your loved one will be reminded that her beloved baby is never far away.
We like this Memorial Windchime from Weathered Raindrop.
10. Weighted teddy bear
Several craft studios and retailers create weighted teddy bears to exact specifications. You can order a memorial teddy bear for your loved one that weighs exactly what her baby weighed.
Of course, this might be too painful for some moms, but many find it comforting. The teddy bear can be customized with the baby’s name and birthday, too.
Stillborn Memorial Gifts for Grandparents
It’s not only the parents who grieve when there’s a stillbirth or miscarriage. Grandparents can feel deeply connected to their grandchildren from the very moment they find out about the pregnancy. So when that child passes away, it can come as a major shock and cause deep and lasting grief.
If you’d like to support a grandparent in your life who just experienced the premature death of a grandchild, we’ve provided some gift ideas below.
A bouquet of flowers is a time-honored memorial gift that shows you’re thinking about the giftee and that you truly care.
Choose whichever type of flower arrangement you think your loved ones would like, whether it’s simple or more elaborate. You could even choose a variety of flowers that represents children and birth, like baby’s breath or white carnations.
Attach a short note to your flowers, letting the grandparents know that this bouquet is in memory of their precious grandbaby.
12. Garden stone
Many grandparents spend time outdoors, tending their gardens or just enjoying the sunshine. For grandparents who are grieving the loss of a grandchild, you can make outdoor time even more meaningful with a memorial garden stone.
There are plenty of online retailers who offer customized garden stones, but you can also create your own DIY memorial garden stone. All you need is a round stone, like a river rock, and some weather-proof paint.
On the stone, you can write the baby’s name and birthday, as well as a meaningful quote about the loss of a baby or another quote.
13. Handwritten letter
Sometimes the most meaningful memorial gift is the kind words of a loved one. Sit down with a pen and paper, and write out your thoughts and feelings towards your loved ones and their loss. The letter doesn’t have to be long; it just has to be from the heart.
Once you’re done writing a draft, transfer the message to some beautiful stationery before placing it in an envelope. You could also include a photograph of you and your family, letting the grandparents know that everyone in this photo is thinking about them.
We love this Personalized Stationery by Lemon Grace on Etsy.
14. Seed paper
Rather than giving a short-lived bouquet of flowers, you could give the grandparents in your life flower seed paper as a memorial gift. Flower seed paper is a popular condolence and memorial gift because it’s interactive, and it can bloom again and again.
Gift your loved one seed paper with a note saying, “In memory of,” and the baby’s name. You can even pair the seed paper with a DIY wood or stone placard to place next to the flower garden.
We like this eco-friendly Seed Paper on Amazon.
Supporting a Loved One Through Grief
You might know just the perfect gift to give your loved one in this difficult time, and you might not. But what’s most important is letting your friend or family member know that you’re available and happy to help however you can. Check in regularly with texts or calls just to say, “Hi.” You can even drop off small, helpful items like basic groceries.
There’s no specific timeline for grief, so the best thing you can do as a friend or family member is to stay flexible in how you offer support. And never be afraid to ask your loved one, “How are you?”