Losing a friend or family member is a challenging time. Although purchasing a sympathy gift is a small way to show you care, it can have a big impact. A meaningful sympathy gift does not need a huge sum of money or a grand gesture. It can be quite simple.
Whatever you choose to give including a sympathy card or handwritten message is a good idea. Writing out a comforting message may come easier to you than speaking it. Your loved one can open your note whenever they’re ready and read it as often as they want. And they’ll have a continuing reminder of your support.
Keep your loved one in mind when deciding on a gift. It’s not about getting them a gift or doing an act of service for them because it makes you feel good. Think about their feelings and their likes and dislikes. It's your thoughtfulness that really matters to them during this difficult time.
1. Make a Donation
There are countless organizations to donate to. Make sure the organization you choose is significant to the decedent in some way.
Often a death announcement will list a charity where donations can be made. If gifting money isn’t for you, volunteering is a great way to honor the decedent.
2. Buy a Seat
Many landmarks have the option to purchase plaques for their seats. If the decedent had a favorite local park or sports team, look into how much it would be to have a seat named in their honor.
If the cost is too high for you, consider purchasing it as a group gift. If you aren’t able to fund a group gift many places also have more affordable brick inscription options.
3. Create an Art Piece
Does the decedent have a favorite vacation spot? A landmark in town? Perhaps your loved one has a favorite photo of them with the deceased. If you’re artistic, consider creating a memento for the bereaved.
If you’re not artistic, there are plenty of customizable art pieces out there. Paintings, pottery, sculptures, mixed media, and many other options exist. Try to capture a moment significant to both the decedent and your loved one.
If your loved one has their deceased loved one's lock of hair or cremated remains, you can send them in to be turned into a memorial diamond. After a consultation and a few months of waiting for the diamond to grow, you'll have a custom diamond that you can get set on a ring, necklace, or other jewelry. Some companies, like Eterneva, create lab-grown diamonds and allow you to pick from several cuts and colors for your gemstone.
If you're looking for something more solid and tangible, companies like Parting Stone create beautiful, handheld cremation stones to help someone grieving keep their loved one close by.
What you'll need to buy: Consider picking up a large art set, like this 163-piece set from Amazon, so you won't run out of supplies.
4. Help Them Pick Out a Pet
Does your loved one have a heart for animals, but never got around to getting a pet? Offer to take them for a visit to an animal shelter. Having an animal companion has massive benefits for both mental and physical health.
Depending on circumstances they may qualify for an emotional support animal. These companions come with unique benefits. Be there to support them through the decision-making process. And make sure you stick around to help their new pet feel welcome.
What you'll need to buy: Offer to pick them up a matching collar and leash set for their new pet, like this inexpensive set that comes in 13 fun patterns and colors.
5. Make a Photo Album
Create a printed photo album out of pictures of the decedent and your loved one. A printed book will feel special and can serve as a keepsake for the person for many years.
You can get one professionally printed in a variety of sizes for relatively cheap. Or you can print photos out and create one yourself.
6. Create Custom Clothing
Was the decedent a great cook? A sports enthusiast? An all-around character? Create custom T-shirts based on something unique about the decedent. It can be a fun, lighthearted way to honor their memory. You may have seen items like this before.
People print “In Memory Of” followed by a name, birth, and death date on a shirt. You don’t have to follow that design. It can be a fun design relevant to the decedent.
What you'll need to buy: Start with a pack of plain white t-shirts, like these unisex tees from Amazon, then add on iron-on transfer paper for photos and graphic designs, or use fabric markers to write a message.
7. Make a Mixtape
Did the decedent have unique music tastes? Was there a particular album your loved one would listen to with the decedent? If possible, track down this album on record for a unique gift.
If your loved one doesn’t have a record player, you can always frame it as a cool art piece. You can also put together a digitized playlist for your loved one.
What you'll need to buy: You can put your favorite records or CDs in a record frame, like this wood and acrylic frame from Amazon.
8. Curate a Book Collection
You don’t have to pull together a bunch of books about dealing with grief. Instead, put together a few of your favorite books to give to your loved one.
Put together a variety, but try to keep the books' tone light — nothing too scary or sad.
What you'll need to buy: Send them a pre-made book collection, like this Puffin in Bloom Book Collection, which comes with Anne of Green Gables, Heidi, Little Women, and A Little Princess.
9. Create a Piece of Jewelry
Custom jewelry has endless possibilities. There are plenty of ways to create a custom piece of jewelry for your loved one beyond simple engraving.
You can incorporate the decedent’s initials, birthstone, and more, in the style and taste of your loved one.
What you'll need to buy: If you're new to making jewelry, it might be worth it to invest in a jewelry-making kit, like this 1,960 piece set from Amazon.
10. Recycle Something
Did the decedent wear a certain jacket or ball cap every day? Have a favorite chair? Consider getting an item of the decedent refurbished so that your loved one can keep using it. Be creative, but don’t be destructive or change the nature of the item.
If you’re afraid of taking an item of the decedent, do some digging on the internet. You could find a new version of the item so the bereaved can have a replacement. If you can’t find a replacement, many shops offer customization and could create a replica for you.
What you'll need to buy: If you've never repurposed your clothes before, try and get some inspiration from a craft book, like the 50 Nifty Thrify Upcycled Fashions: Sew Something From Nothing book.
11. Do a Custom Dessert
Sending your loved one a dessert is a great way to comfort them. Plenty of ice cream shops and bakeries offer custom orders, and some even deliver!
You can also honor the decedent in some way with edible printing or featuring a favorite flavor. If you love baking save money and make something yourself.
What you'll need to buy: Try a cake baking kit, like this inexpensive 240-piece set, with every accessory imaginable, including icing tips, offset spatulas, and more.
12. Give Them a Spa Day
You don’t have to spend a ton of money to send your loved one to an exclusive salon or spa. You can pick up a few items at your store of choice.
Put it all together in a basket and make it look nice. Try to incorporate scents your loved one will like or products you recommend. A bit of self-care can work wonders.
What you'll need to buy: If you don't want to make your own basket, you can find plenty of pre-made spa gift baskets online, like this cruelty-free bath and body gift basket from Amazon.
13. Get Them Tickets to a Game
Going to a game to cheer for their favorite team is a great way to remind them to do things they enjoy. Maybe the decedent used to go with your loved one or shared in the fandom.
Make sure you offer to tag along or buy a few tickets for your loved one to invite others, or bring their children.
What you'll need to buy: The tickets, of course! But if you want to go the extra mile, try buying your loved one their favorite player's jersey (there are plenty on Amazon) to make the day extra-special.
14. Have an at Home Movie Night
Does your loved one have a few favorite movies they used to watch with the decedent? Find a way to access these, such as streaming, or on DVD if they’re older.
Grab plenty of snacks and find a good spot in either of your homes and set up a private theater. It’ll be a fun way to be nostalgic and provide a welcome distraction.
What you'll need to buy: You can skip the DIY-approach and order a gourmet movie night gift basket online. We like the Urban Accents Blockbuster Movie Night set, complete with popcorn kernels, popcorn flavorings, and retro boxes.
15. Or, Take Them to a Movie
Dedicate an afternoon to take your loved one to a movie they want to see. It’s an easy way to provide companionship without forcing conversation. The bereaved won’t feel obligated to talk if they’re not ready.
What you'll need to buy: Nothing, except for the movie tickets and some snacks at the theater. Just have fun and relax!
16. Plan Meals for Them
If your loved one’s happy place is the kitchen, get them a meal subscription. Many meal kits ship fresh ingredients right to subscribers’ doors.
And they have simple recipes. Trying new recipes can be a welcome distraction from grief.
What you'll need to buy: After you purchase the subscription or make a plan, write out the meal plan on a nice calendar, like this dry-erase magnetic chalkboard calendar.
17. Have a Cookout
If your loved one lost someone who loved barbecuing on weekends, throw a cookout in their honor. Your loved one will appreciate the respect of the tradition, even if it won’t quite be the same. Keep the event small and intimate and prepare plenty of food.
What you'll need to buy: Gift them a nice set of barbecue accessories to remember the dinner, like this heavy-duty, 20-piece stainless steel set.
18. Give Them a Journal
If your loved one enjoys writing things down consider a journal or bullet journal. You can easily customize them with your loved one’s initials.
Some even have prompts or questions that can guide more effective journaling. It will give your loved one another outlet and way to process their feelings.
What you'll need to buy: Try giving them an inexpensive basic journal, like this journal that comes in several colors, and write a thoughtful message on the inside cover. Don't forget to include multi-colored pens, like this pretty set. They always make journaling more fun!
19. Go for a Hot Air Balloon Ride (Or Some Other Bucket List Adventure)
This is an unconventional gift idea, but in the event the decedent had a bucket list, perhaps this was on it. Going for a hot air balloon ride is a special way to honor the deceased, and create a new memory with your loved one.
If hot air balloons were not a bucket list item for the deceased figure out what was. You never know where this gift could lead!
What you'll need to buy: This will depend on their bucket list wishes. If you aren't sure of their bucket list, encourage them to start one by gifting them something like this bucket list journal, with prompts and space for photos and quotes.
20. Make a Custom Candle
There are plenty of well-known candle companies that offer personalization on their candles.
Some shops allow you to go one step further and create a custom scent for your loved one. Candles are a small way to make anyone’s home warmer and more inviting.
What you'll need to buy: If you don't feel like shelling out the money for a custom candle from a specialty shop, try buying a candle-making kit and giving it a shot. We like this DIY candle-making kit with wicks, wax, dye, scents, and other supplies.
21. Book a Housekeeper
Hiring someone to help your loved one clean is a useful gift, but you should make sure they’re okay with it. While many people wish someone else would do the chores they are reluctant to hire help.
Be sure to give them a sympathy card with proper condolences as well. If they seem unwilling to accept professional cleaning help offer to help them yourself.
What you'll need to buy: Book the housekeeper and check-in with your loved one in a few months. If they need another break from cleaning, re-book your housekeeper to give your loved one a well-deserved break.
22. Plant a Flowering Bush or Tree
Depending on who the decedent is, there’s likely a plant out there that captures their spirit. Planting something to tend to is a great way to beautify the home and honor a loved one.
Good examples are rose bushes, birds of paradise, and even a tree of your choice.
What you'll need to buy: Saplings make a great gift because they're relatively small and easy to take to a loved one's home or send in the mail. We like this set of saplings, which includes Cypress, Monterey Pine, Coast Redwood, Coast Live Oak, and Douglas Fir trees.
23. Something Else for the Garden
Maybe the deceased loved bird watching or gardening? You could order a custom bird feeder for the yard. Consider having it made with an inscription to honor the deceased.
Or buy new gardening tools. That way your loved one can continue working on the garden. Both will provide a welcome distraction from grief.
24. A Message Jar
You can easily create this at home with a simple jar and craft paper. Your messages can be almost anything.
Consider including jokes, uplifting messages, scriptures, or even small drawings. Your loved one can open the jar and read your messages whenever they need to.
25. Help Them Send Off Paper Lanterns
Sending off paper lanterns is a beautiful way to celebrate someone’s life. You can buy them in bulk online. You could gather a large group and send them off altogether.
Make sure you find a nice open space and try to do it on a clear evening. This is a lovely way to celebrate the life of the deceased.
What you'll need to buy: Please buy biodegradable, environmentally-friendly lanterns, like this set of white paper lanterns from Amazon.
Keep It in the Right Spirit
Whatever gift or act of service you choose for your loved one, keep in mind the nature of their loss and who it is they lost. Think about how they’re hurting and what it is they feel like they’re missing out on. You aren’t trying to replace who they lost, but help them realize that others care about them.