Most people prefer to die at home, but it doesn’t always work out that way. Unless your loved one is on home hospice, a sudden accident or other illness could mean hospitalization. Even on hospice, there could be a short-term hospitalization to get your loved one’s pain under control, and they could die at the hospital even though that was not you or your loved one’s preference.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- What Do Hospitals Do When Someone Dies?
- What Are Families or Next-of-Kin Responsible For After a Loved Ones Dies in a Hospital?
Your plan may have been to treat your loved one’s condition and bring them home to die, but they worsen and die in the hospital. This experience can be heartbreaking. In many cases due to the pandemic, families are not even allowed to visit someone in the hospital in some communities. You can request a video meeting or Facetime with your loved one so you can communicate, as well as ask to bring that person home.
What Do Hospitals Do When Someone Dies?
When someone dies in the hospital, many of the details are handled by hospital staff. Upon admission to the hospital, you and your loved one will fill out a Medical Order for Life-Sustaining Treatment (MOLST) or a Physician’s Order for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST) form. These forms dictate your loved one’s wishes while they are in the hospital.
A couple of scenarios could occur. Depending on what the order indicates, the hospital staff will have tried to resuscitate and failed, or your loved one is allowed to die without intervention based on their wishes.
If someone had advance directives that indicated full resuscitation, that directive would be superseded by a POLST or MOLST that states otherwise at the time of admission to the hospital. The reason for having this option is that sometimes circumstances change when someone is in the hospital, and their preferences may reflect a different set of wishes.
Next of kin is notified
Unless you are at the hospital when someone dies, the next of kin are notified. The next of kin is the person identified upon admission as the primary person responsible for the family member’s care. It could be the health care power of attorney or a family member who accompanies the person to the hospital.
Once the next of kin is notified, that person makes calls to the rest of the family to inform them of the death. The emotional responsibility of contacting other family members can also be intense. Delegate this task to someone else if you need to. You can take the time later to fill people in on details regarding any funeral arrangements and other details.
Declaration of death
In a hospital setting, the doctor that cared for your loved one or the one on call will have to certify the death.
This step is necessary to get death certificates later, which are required to settle the estate. In a hospital, this process is more straightforward than if your loved one died at home.
Decide what to do with the body
If the family has not made mortuary arrangements, the hospital may move the body to the hospital morgue. The other deciding factor about how quickly the body is moved has to do with bed availability.
Many hospitals have bed shortages as a result of COVID-19, and there might be some urgency to free up that bed. Although the family may wish to spend time with the body, this may not be possible depending on the circumstances.
Assign a social worker
The hospital will assign a social worker to the family to assist with the process following death.
A social worker can help contact the mortuary, offer grief counseling, and other guidance related to the steps to take after death. Social workers also have resources available to help with planning once everyone has left the hospital.
What Are Families or Next-of-Kin Responsible For After a Loved Ones Dies in a Hospital?
Even though the hospital will handle many of the details immediately following a loved one’s death, the family still has decisions to make. Many of these decisions may have been made prior to death and are indicated in a living will or other advance directives. If those decisions were deferred, they will have to be made now. Pre-planning avoids having to make these decisions during times of stress.
Families often disagree about these responsibilities, and things can get complicated and contentious. While you may have an idea of what happens when you die, your family members may have additional questions, comments, and concerns of their own. Following a loved one’s death, family members might be very emotional, angry, or frustrated. Family conflict and disagreement are where the hospital social worker can help families try to do what is best. Reach out to the social worker to help resolve disputes if you are unable to make any headway.
Organ or body donation
Your loved one may have already decided that they were an organ donor before death, or perhaps wanted to donate their body to science. A social worker assigned by the hospital will talk with you about these options if they have not already been decided.
Organ and body donation decisions can be very emotional and disagreement among family members is common. That’s why it is best to make these wishes known as part of your pre-planning process.
Every state has different rules dictating when an autopsy must be performed. In general, autopsies are performed if there is a suspicion of foul play, an infectious disease concern, or unexplained death.
In a hospital setting, an autopsy is rare since the person was ill, to begin with. The family can request an autopsy if the state doesn’t require it. Sometimes people take comfort in knowing the exact cause of death. If your loved one had Alzheimer’s disease, they might have decided upon an autopsy to contribute to Alzheimer’s disease research.
The family or social worker can contact the Mortuary. If you have not selected one, you can just pick one and call. This scenario is more common than you may realize. Mortuaries prepare to deal with unexpected needs. Organize this information before calling:
- Will there be an earth burial or cremation? If the family has yet to decide on this, the mortuary can still take the body and hold it until a decision is made. For an earth burial, you will need to decide on a cemetery.
- Will there be a funeral or graveside service? You do not need to decide about funeral arrangements right away. It is just something to be thinking about as you move through the process. Due to COVID, more places are offering virtual funerals or memorial services. If the death was unexpected, a virtual service could be especially useful for out-of-town family members who may not be able to make last-minute arrangements.
- Talk with your family about an obituary.
- If there is immediate disagreement among family members about what direction to take, ask to speak with the hospital social worker who can help.
Think about your loved one’s home
Sometimes people go to the hospital quite suddenly and leave things unattended.
Once you have attended to the immediate aftermath of the death, think about your loved one’s home and what might need taking care of. Are there pets that need care? Delegate this task to another family member or friend until you can take over. Make sure the house is secure until such time you can deal with your loved one’s belongings and the house itself.
Start planning to settle the estate
You will need to obtain certified death certificates through the mortuary or cremation service. Not much can be accomplished without these certificates, and it is suggested that you request 10. You will need specific information for the death certificate, including their full legal name, date of birth, place of birth, father and mother’s name and birthplace, social security number, marital status, location, and cause of death (the hospital can provide this) and address.
Death certificates aren’t issued to just anyone. Depending on the state where you live, they may only be given to immediate family or someone who can show they have a direct financial interest in the estate. You will need these certificates to contact all financial institutions, settle the will, and take care of any other obligations.
Take care of yourself and your family
Losing someone takes an emotional toll, and grieving is a normal part of any loss.
If you are the executor of your loved one’s estate, you will be very busy over the next few weeks. Make sure you take care of yourself and your family through this process. Rest, reach out to loved ones, and ask for help if you need it.
Many people find it very helpful to reach out to grief counselors or their spiritual advisors during this time. Don’t hesitate to do so if you think it will help. Also, don’t forget your family. They are also bearing the brunt of this loss and your emotional response. Be mindful of their presence and needs as well.
It Is Difficult (But Manageable) When Someone Dies at the Hospital
When a loved one dies in the hospital, the experience is traumatic. The death may be expected or sudden, but in either case, rely on the hospital staff to help you.
Your task is to lessen the emotional burden of the loss and deal with the details of honoring your loved one’s wishes.